You're in for a treat today. This post, written by my dear friend Melissa Anderson, is so beautiful and so important. I'm really honored to share it with you here. Melissa is a really special gal - a true gift in my life - and if you want to get to know her better and soak up some of her awesome-ness, I have good news for you: she has a blog! She launched her blog, "...the space between..." in January. I think you'll really enjoy what she's got going on over there, so go check it out! Okay, enough from me. Enjoy Melissa's lovely words.
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Best Bite First
In running, a negative split is when you run the second half of the race faster than the first. In running long distance races, you’re out there for long periods of time, sometimes many hours, so it makes perfect sense to save up some of your energy for those later miles “just in case” and to have a reserve to pull from. In order for that to happen, you make a conscious effort in the beginning and middle of the race to pull back, to hold off a little, to not engage to the absolute fullest. This is logical in running, and races have been won this way, but many of us live our lives like this and that’s not a win. We walk around the edges of life, dipping only our toe in, saving things and storing up for some unknown time in the future when we feel better about ourselves - when we’re more financially secure, when we’ve lost weight, when we have more time.
We all know the cliché sayings about living life to the fullest or living each day like it were your last. We all hear the heart-wrenching news stories about lives lost too young and we make our own declarations in those moments to be a little more grateful, a little more here, and then the phone rings and the dog is barking and laundry needs to get done and we snap at our spouse and it’s life as usual. It’s so easy to forget that this life is for us to live, not just go along with or get swallowed by.
One of my goals is to not hold back, to not save up, to not keep anything on reserve, to love this life right now and to live it without exception.
This approach doesn’t mean running yourself ragged, saying yes to every commitment, or never spending three hours watching a Top Chef marathon. In fact it’s kind of the opposite. It means saying yes when you mean yes, and no when you mean no, but being fully there - awake and involved - when you do say yes. It means getting on the ground and playing with your kids instead of watching. It means wearing that fabulous dress or piece of jewelry to the movies or Denny’s because you love it and feel wonderful wearing it and most of all because today IS a special occasion. Every day is. It means putting your fork right into the middle of that meal and going for the best bite first.
Don’t hold back. Don’t save anything for later. Love until you’re tapped out, play until you’re exhausted, laugh until you’re hoarse, actively be alone, give until there’s nothing left, and rest until you’re renewed and full again. If we’re lucky, life is a marathon, not a sprint, but don’t count on that. Live it like this moment is all you have and go all in right now.
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[…] can find me over at Joy Tanksley’s incredible blog, Being Joy. I wrote a little number on not holding back and I would love for you to check it […]
YES!
Farmgirl Susan´s last [type] ..Wednesday Dose of Cute– Watching It Get Whiter
Thanks!
Melissa, you said it ALL! Just Do It. Thanks for the reminder …
Thanks Susan! It’s a reminder I need often myself.
Melissa, thanks for this! Your words speak to a huge part of me that I am working on at this time! I have been known to break a Godiva chocolate in half so that I would have some later instead of enjoying the entire piece at once. I am learning that the best should not have to be saved for last! We don’t bring out the good china for fear a piece will break. We only wear the expensive perfume on special occasions. We skip taking a walk with our kids because dirty dishes are piled up. I am working on breaking free of this sort of “hoarding” and your words spur me on!
Regards, Debra
Love this word ‘hoarding’ used like this, Debra!
Thank you so much for the comment. I have so many memories of saving clothes for “special occasions” only to never where them at all, or not enjoying the best piece of something because I’ve stuffed myself on the mediocre parts. I think recognizing is it half the battle (and then comes believe that we DESERVE it — yikes!).
I love the metaphor of the negative split because that’s something I can wrap my mind around. I tend to be the opposite — going out full force (whether in a race or life) and finding that not enough energy is left at the end of the (day/race/year). It’s about balance, right??? =)
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul´s last [type] ..World’s Tallest Model Talks About Body Image — Interview with Amazon Eve
Hey Ashley! Thanks for the comment and the valuable perspective of the flip side of that coin. Heck yeah, balance is absolutely a good thing, elusive much of the time, but important.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Melissa Anderson, Joy Tanksley. Joy Tanksley said: “Best Bite First” — a beautiful piece on my blog today by @melsanderson — don’t miss this one! http://ow.ly/3TOVJ […]
Hey, Melissa, this was a great reminder to enjoy it NOW, don’t hold back. I know I learned a related lesson when I held onto some really expensive, wonderful cadmium red light oil paint, waiting for God –knows-what to use it. When I checked to see how it was doing one day, I discovered it had lumped up in the tube and wasn’t really any good anymore
( Now I use expensive paint (when I can get it) with abandon!
Love that Jean! Thanks for sharing!
“It means saying yes when you mean yes, and no when you mean no, but being fully there — awake and involved — when you do say yes.”
This is so powerful…and beautifully written. Just the other day I said “yes” when what I really wanted to do is say “no.” And because of it, I now have to force myself to be awake and involved, instead of wanting to be. Thank you for so eloquently expressing it!
Thank you so much, Karen. I’ve learned that same lesson so many times myself, it’s not a one shot deal. Those situations where I totally know it’s a ‘no’ in all ways and end up being stuck and obligated is so not something I want to keep repeating.
This is so awesome, I love it! I definitely have a problem with sort of “living in the future.” I always put fun things off, hold myself back, and save the best for last. Especially when it comes to food, I always have a tendency to save things I love (like chocolate!) and say that they’re a reward for when I reach a lower weight and instead eat things I don’t enjoy. I want to try to change that, though, and learn to just enjoy some awesome chocolate! Debra commented about Godiva…HECK YES! So I’m going to try to enjoy things in the moment and not wait, living is what deserves a reward not goal weights! Thanks for this, it’s amazing.
Hey Megan! Thanks so much for commenting and sharing, I know a lot of us can relate to the whole “earning it” thought.
I absolutely love this: “So I’m going to try to enjoy things in the moment and not wait, living is what deserves a reward not goal weights!” YES, YES, YES!!!!
I’ve loved reading these comments, everyone. I’m so glad Melissa’s piece spoke to you all. It totally fired me up!
Thanks Joy! And thank you again for putting my little piece up here, it’s been absolutely wonderful.
I love you.
Amen, LOVE LOVE LOVE. I absolutely think this is the spirit of being mindful, being present and embracing our life for ALL it is worth. Wonderful post.
Kendra (Voice in Recovery)´s last [type] ..Balance in Sickness
I totally agree with you Kendra! It’s my daily practice, aka ‘how I roll’.
Thanks for the comment!