As the year draws to a close, I know a lot of us are thinking about how we might want our lives to be different in 2011. In today's video, I'm offering some of my thoughts on personal growth and change. Enjoy!
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Thank you for sharing those thoughts and reflections (and it’s always good to see you!). I definitely think the message is one that needs repeating (and repeating, and repeating) since I doubt I’m the only one who still notices herself pushing, pulling and flailing at times.
I think it’s really interesting how for many of us the thought of changing jobs or giving up compulsive overeating, or whatever personal challenge we’re experiencing, can cause that gripping fear and panic and sense of painful loss, yet at the same time we often try to keep motoring ahead for what we “want”, without having any idea of what that is, or make huge life altering decisions when we can hardly breathe, let alone make decisions from a place of peace and wisdom.
I think one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned (and thanks to you for the reminders) is that you can be curious, inquisitive, wonder, explore, dream, etc. without having to “do” anything. The value isn’t in the jumping, or running, or grasping or getting of something new or different, but it’s really in getting to know ourselves better. As difficult as it can be to swallow when we’re feeling icky, sometimes just being with it is the most drastic change we can make. Which in no way means that actual changes aren’t possible, or necessary.
And p.s. I TOTALLY had that hair thing!
Merry Christmas hon. I love you!
I knew if anyone out there had that hair thing it would be you! Hahahaha!
Thank you so much for this comment. And especially this: “sometimes just being with it is the most drastic change we can make.” Would you believe this is the focus of next Monday’s Spark? Yeah, I know you can believe it. Cause we’re always on the same page like that.
LOVE YOU! Have a GREAT Christmas!
I can totally believe it. It’s how we roll.
Even more funny about the hair contraption is that now we both have super short hair. Maybe some residual emotional scarring from the crimper?
Wonderful insights, Joy! It very much reminds me of a post I wrote recently about the paradoxical theory of change — this idea that the only way to make a change in life is by not trying to change at all! I have always found that when I try so hard to change, focusing all of my energy on it, I end up with a lot of resistance and exhaustion. It’s when I release that iron grip of control and just let things flow naturally that change becomes not only possible, but practically inevitable.
Have a wonderful holiday!
Katie @ Health for the Whole Self´s last [type] ..A Story of Giving
YES YES YES! That’s it exactly.
Merry Christmas, sweet Katie!
Yes!! Excellent points! And you captured the whole thing so well with the story about you and your sister and the gifts. I remember thinking something similar, when I was little, and the kids next door were much older and their gifts seemed so boring!
The way I express it now (and I’m not even sure when I came up with it but it’s my mantra for many different aspects of my life) is like this: “It takes as long as it needs to take. And that’s okay.”
Warmth and love and peace right back to you!
KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last [type] ..What If We Took Control Out Of The Equation
I love your mantra, Karen! It reminds me of one of the principals of Nia called Natural Time: “Natural Time is the concept of honoring the rhythms of nature as opposed to following the current calendar and clock that run most of our lives. Moving in Natural Time is about staying true to yourself. It is a tool to help you get in touch with your body’s natural rhythm.”
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Karen D. Karen D said: RT @JoyTanksley: A new video on my blog today: Thoughts on Growth and Change. http://ow.ly/3tDj7 […]
Joy, that was pure wisdom and really lovely. Thank you for that. Peace, Health, and Happy Holidays to you, too
PS. You’ve got such an engaging ‘on-camera’ presence!
Megan @ ascension blog´s last [type] ..Thank you– ladies
Hey Megan! Thank you! Much, much love to you!
Hi Joy! What a wonderful insight. Letting go of control is such a huge thing. My life feels so great when I am just letting it happen. I have spent years (unsuccessfully) trying to force change and to cram my round life through a square hole. Recently I have just begun to release everything and it seems so much more natural, almost like I don’t even notice it happeningb. Amazing.
You are beautiful — love your videos. I agree with Megan, you have a great presence : )
Warmth and peace to you too!
Jessica´s last [type] ..about my weight
Oh, Jessica, thank you so much for your kind words! And I’m so glad that you are beginning the beautiful process of releasing and allowing. GO YOU!
Hey, I still like getting toys!!
You would like my Drawing for Chickens beginning drawing class. The first thing I tell my students is that in order to learn to draw, they will need to give up wanting to draw well. The more they put pressure on themselves to draw well and do it as fast as they can (they would prefer to take the class only if they can already draw—duh!), the harder it will be for them to learn. Eventually, they understand why this is so (the right brain, the inner artist, has no agenda, no goals, no desire to accomplish, it only lives in, observes and enjoys the present moment). The pressure to perform is deadly to drawing and to many other things in life. This lesson takes a while to learn unless you have a great coach who helps you deal with it. I am thinking that would be YOU, JOY
Happy Holidays and thanks for a great video (as usual)
Love you!.
Jean, I just LOVE your illustrations (get it? HA!). Seriously, you are so right on. One of the main things I do with my clients is help them access the deep wisdom that comes from the right brain. Pretty groovy. Man, we could do a really neat workshop together using coaching tools + art!
Oh, groan, yes, I DO get it
And YES, we could do a fantastic workshop together!! I am game and I even have the place for it. I cannot think of anything cooler or anyone I would have more fun with! Shoot, everyone in the whole building would have fun if the two of us got together to do a “thang”.….Yes! We would probably have to bar the door, keep the hoards out, etc!
Sounds divine!