About four years ago, I took my first Nia class. At the time, I was regularly running, lifting weights, and taking several pounding step aerobics classes each week, but my rigorous exercise wasn't enough to keep me from gaining weight. My binge eating was out of control, and I just couldn't burn enough calories to offset the impact. I walked into a Nia class because I heard Nia involved lots of dancing, which sounded like a fun way to squeeze in an extra calorie burning session a few times each week.
As soon as I entered, the teacher invited me to take off my shoes. After that, she babbled for several minutes about the focus of the class. I don't recall what she said, but I do recall looking at the clock wondering why we were wasting precious exercise time. Then the slow, ethereal music started...
I tried my best to follow what the teacher was doing. I wanted to do each movement correctly so that I could achieve maximum fitness benefits, but the teacher kept saying weird things like, "focus your awareness on creating ease in the body" or "move in a way that feels pleasurable." HUH? I didn't come to this class to feel good. I came to work. I came to feel the burn. I came to pay penance.
I didn't return to the class, and over the next few years I made fun of Nia. Whenever I could work it into conversation, I would retell the story of that whacky class and the crazy teacher who told me to seek pleasure and ease in my body. My friends would laugh at the ridiculousness of it. I would conclude by saying, "It's fine if those people enjoy Nia, but it's clearly not for me. I'm much too serious about fitness."
And what happened to the girl who was so serious about fitness? My binge eating continued. I couldn't maintain my weight. My knees ached from so much running and aerobics. I hated my body. And eventually, I slumped into a depression.
Still motivated by my crazed desire to be thin (because I thought thin was the key to happiness), I picked up a weight lossbook by Martha Beck called The Four Day Win. As I read that book, a tiny door started to open in my heart. I began to see that both my overeating and rigorous exercise habits stemmed from fear. From there, I read other wonderful books (too many to list here) that took me even deeper into this understanding. What if I started choosing love instead of fear? Does eating chocolate until I'm sick feel like love? No way. Does running even though my knees are swollen and achey feel like love? Not a bit. So, what would happen in my life if I deliberately chose love?
I started choosing love in small ways, just as an experiment, and over time the results were dramatic. I realized that my body was beautiful and my compulsive eating behaviors completely fell away. And, somewhere along the way, I wandered into a Nia class again.
Three years after my first Nia class, I experienced Nia with fresh eyes. Now it made total sense to move the body in all the ways it was designed to be moved - in ways that felt easeful. It made sense to celebrate my bones, muscles, and flesh. It made sense to dance freely. To have fun. To sweat without considering how many calories I was burning. To laugh and play and choose pleasure over pain.
This past Saturday I earned my Nia White Belt and am now certified to teach Nia. A pretty funny turn of events for a girl who ridiculed Nia for three good years, huh?
I've discovered this is precisely the sort of thing that happens when we choose love instead of fear. Love breaks us open. It turns our lives upside down. It exposes us. It burns away our tough exteriors to reveal our tenderness. This is what is required of us in order to live joyful, abundant, passion-filled lives: choosing love.
I invite you to begin.
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Wow, Joy! I had no idea you weren’t instantly in love with Nia. You always speak about it with such passion that I assumed you were. What an amazing journey to get you to today, a Nia teacher.
Choosing love over fear is beautiful.
Yep! I was a total Nia hater!
I’ve learned that when I am strongly against something and go out of my way to put it down, it sometimes means I need to take a closer look.
It’s tough to choose love. I’m trying to in baby steps and realizing it takes so much less energy to love instead of fear.
Crazy how you turned that all around and ended up teaching! That’s why we can never say never
Val @ Balancing Val´s last [type] ..Easiest Salad Dressing Ever
Amen to never saying never, Val!
I very much enjoyed reading about your journey with Nia. It’s amazing how much can change when we begin to choose love over fear; it’s awesome the way the whole world looks different through those fresh eyes.
Hey Katie! I agree — it’s totally fascinating how the whole world can “change” when we adjust our perceptions.
I SO needed to read this today…and I can SO relate to it. When I think of all the things I’ve done to myself physically, out of fear, I just shake my head and am grateful that I know the difference now…but I have to keep reminding myself too. And your post today was a timely reminder.
KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last [type] ..The Science Behind The Woo-Woo
Karen — so glad this was timely for you and so glad you can relate! The choice of love is ongoing, isn’t it? I find myself sliding back into fear-based decisions all the time. It’s kind of like bringing yourself back to your breath in meditation, I think. I have to bring myself back to the love over and over and over.
I have prayed you and Charlie safely back home and have an ache in my heart now that you have left. The few days spent together after your NIA training have been so special. Please know that after you left this morning, I played several genres of music and tried to do some of the moves that you taught me. I felt refreshed and more flexible after. I love you dear one.
Mom
You’re such a treasure. Thanks for letting me share with you. Love you so much!
Joy, you know that my heart and body love reading this post. I have to giggle that I, too, went into Nia kicking and screaming. “It’s too weird,” I whined. And it DID feel different…and slowly I started coming into my body and myself in a new way. Now I can run and do other things and stay connected. I love love LOVE that you are thinking of offering online classes. Let me know how I can help in any way (prolly not much good on the technology, but great on the movements and music!). Love you, Susan
Hey baby! I thought of you so much while I was at my training! I saw black-eyed Susans blooming near the retreat center (which was very odd for this time of year) and felt that was a sign that you were cheering me on! Thanks so much for all your support.
Hey Joy!
It is I the insane guy from Loaded London.… Good post, though I have a question. You speak of fear and you speak of love and choosing one over the other. However the question must be asked… love what? In place of fearing what?
Cool shot for the post… chat soon!
Mark Kearney | Loaded London´s last [type] ..Good times! -
Hey Mark! I used to exercise out of pure fear that I would gain weight. Now I exercise out of love and appreciation for my body and all it can do. In general, I try to steer clear of fear-based decisions, which are all about avoiding unpleasant consequences. Instead, I try to make love-based decisions, which are all about moving towards something positive.
Woot! Congrats on your belt. I have to look up Nia. I have never heard of it before. I wonder if we have it here in Ottawa.
interestingly, the thing we take an instant dislike to, is generally the thing we need the most and end up loving.
… except where people are concerned. Then I trust the dislike thing
Eliza´s last [type] ..When In Doubt– Pick and Sing!
Hey Eliza! Oh, you are SO right that the “instant dislike” stuff often turns out to be something I need and eventually love. So fascinating, isn’t it?
Definitely check out Nia if you find it nearby!
woot .. congratulations to choosing love instead of fear.…Nia sounds pretty cool
Karen D´s last [type] ..Art Every Day of the Month– Day 2
Thanks, Karen! And Nia IS pretty cool.
I grew up in the Jane Fonda era when the mantra was “No pain, no gain!” My knees are still feeling the effects 30 years later. Today, I love yoga and I have a balanced and healthy attitude towards exercise. If I’m not in the mood or I’m tired, I don’t exercise. I work out twice a week at most but I try to walk my dogs every day in the ravine where it’s peaceful and I get a chance to reflect and recharge. I know this is a clique but if only I knew then what I know now!
Karyn Climans´s last [type] ..BUYER BEWARE!
Hey Karyn! I’m so glad you have found your way to a peaceful, balanced way of moving your body. Thanks for commenting! It’s great to have you here.