I used to work part-time for a weight loss company, and I would often give the following advice to the many struggling, discouraged members:
I know it feels like you are hanging off the edge of a cliff and you are just barely gripping on with your fingertips. You're using all your strength to keep from falling off. I know you're tired and you just want to let go, but don't do it. Keep gripping on with all your might. Whatever you do, don't let go!
This, my friends, is the worst advice I've ever given.
Here's the truth:
There is no cliff and no struggle except for what we've created in our minds. If you want to end the struggle, the BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TO LET GO. I know it seems scary and dangerous, but immersing yourself in a daily struggle for the rest of your life is actually way more worthy of your fear. Stressing, obsessing, and fighting with your body day after day after day is hell on earth. It's a hell I've lived, and I'm so happy to report that it's totally optional.
Here's what you can discover if you let go, fully and completely:
Your feet were on solid ground the whole time.
The world is a friendly place.
Your body is amazingly designed for optimal health.
Eating is simple.
You've always been beautiful, and you always will be.
Everything you've ever wanted is already yours.
At any moment (and at any weight) you can choose peace.
My advice now is to release your grip. Open your heart to trust.
Just. Let. Go.
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Three cheers to that, my friend.
Christie {Honoring Health}´s last [type] ..Today– I Am Grateful
Thanks, baby!
You are SOOOO right!
The best thing you can do to break ‘perfect’ is to let go and let yourself not be perfect!
Thats where you find joy in life
Right on, Val.
Beautiful, Joy! You have definitely more than redeemed yourself from the previous advice
It’s a learning process for all of us!
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul´s last [type] ..Today’s Nourishment — What is “REAL”
Thanks for saying that, Ashley. I definitely have moments where I feel guilt for how I may have misguided folks in the past. But then I remember that this is a big old journey, and I am searching and seeking like everyone else. I shared openly with my former members about what I was learning and what really seemed true at the time, and I have to believe there was perfection in that.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Joy Tanksley and Joy Tanksley, Bonnie Miller. Bonnie Miller said: You are PERFECT! http://bit.ly/di2b25 […]
Lovely post! Better advice could not be given.
I also used to work for a weight-loss company. It was a particularly low period of my life and I wish I knew then what I know now.
Kristine´s last [type] ..Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks, Kristine. Boy, you and I could probably have an interesting conversation, huh?
You are so very smart!
Thank you, my dear.
If you want to end the struggle, the BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS TO LET GO … odd how life hits us over the hammer with messages just as you are working through a problem. Not weight, in my case, but my 9-to-5 job. And yes, I find it to be a daily struggle. However, I am learning to let go … slowly … surely … but I’m getting there.
If you hear a scream, that’s me when my fingertips finally let go of the ledge
Eliza´s last [type] ..How to Lay Low as Helicopter Parents
Ha ha ha! I’ll be listening for that scream! And I so know what you mean about those life messages coming from every direction.
Boy did I need to read this today! I was out at the Costco, in front of the VitaMuffins, advice from a dear friend ringing in my ear that one can make a whole “meal” out of one VitaMuffin (100 calories) and 1 *teaspoon* of chocolate-almond nut butter (30 calories). A woman apologized for reaching in front of me to get a box of the muffins for herself, “Just have to have my VitaMuffins! They are only ONE POINT and they do fill me up for quite a while!” After she left, I took a box and put them into my cart, but your post kept haunting me. I *hate* VitaMuffins–they taste like fake food to me. Why in the name of all that is holy was I even thinking of buying them? I kept telling myself, “Just. Let. Go.” And woooHOOOO! I took those muffins back to the freezer and strutted out without them. Thanks so much, Joy, for jumping ship on that weight loss organization and coming over to the side of real food and real beauty and real life, and helping us all stay over here, too. Love you!
Oh, Laurie, what a triumph!
I’m certainly not in the camp that ANY foods are good or bad — not trying to demonize the Vitamuffins — BUT, come on, 130 calories is NOT a meal. It’s just not. And I agree with you — those things only taste good when you’re desperate. And I should know. I used to order them by the case. And believe me, I was desperate. I’ve binged on those things, and the after-effect is not pretty. Lots of fake fiber in those babies. Ugh.
Mmmmm… what an amazing compliment that I am now on the side of “real food and real beauty and real life.” AMEN. Thanks, my dear!
As someone who you gave that advice to after a meeting, I have to say, sometimes you just need someone to tell you to hold on, to help pull you back over the top of the cliff. When you’ve tried a million things and nothing has worked and you find something that helps, but you are struggling, sometimes you just need that little pull.
Hey sweet Claire. I appreciate what you’re saying here and definitely understand where you’re coming from. My perspective has really shifted (as I’m sure you can tell) but I certainly know that we’re all finding our own way and figuring out which path will bring us the most joy and fulfillment.