One of the biggest obstacles to leading a fabulous, joy-filled life is focusing your energy on things that can't possible be a reality in the moment. Take a look at the seemingly innocent statements below:

• I want to weigh less.
• I want to meet my soul mate.
• I want a new career.

It is not possible, in this moment, for you to make any of these things a reality. There isn't anything inherently wrong with wanting something you don't have, but many times we focus so much energy on wishing for these ideals, that the wanting actually gets in the way of leading our best lives.

In this moment, for example, you weigh whatever you weigh. Pouring all of your mental and emotional energy into your dream of weighing less can be quite painful, because you are wanting something you can't actually have, at least not right now. Desperately wanting your circumstances to be different puts up a barrier to self-acceptance. And self-acceptance is the only way to make positive, lasting change. We fool ourselves into thinking that hating our reality will motivate us to change, but this is fear-based motivation. It has been my experience that fear-based changes are superficial and fleeting. You simply cannot hate yourself into being a better person. It doesn't even make sense, does it?

So, instead of focusing on these idealized images of your future (which, by the way, are often influenced more by society and culture than by your true heart's desires) allow yourself to focus on things you can do right now, in this very moment, to live your dreams. I suggest making a list of  all the things you think you want, and then physically marking through any of the things that cannot possibly happen in the moment. Your list might look something like this:

- I want to wear a size 0.

- I want to wear cute clothes.

- I want feel good about myself.

- I want to be in the circus.

- I want to look forward to going to work every day.

The things that are left, once you've crossed out the items that cannot possibly happen NOW, are the things to focus your energy on. These things are within your immediate control. You can make them happen if you choose to. Let me warn you, it takes guts to do this. Oftentimes, we make the idealized goals prerequisites for the other goals. We say we will start wearing cute clothes and feeling more confident once we lose the weight, for example. This is a cop out, people. Quit putting conditions on your own joy. (Well, unless you prefer to stay miserable.)

What you'll find is that as you live out these attainable dreams moment by moment, the larger scale dreams will either come true on their own, without struggle and force, or they will fall away from your desires, because they weren't really in your heart. It's kind of magical, really. It's magic you can make happen, starting right now.

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