As I shared yesterday, we all have at least one method for detaching ourselves from the emotional (and sometimes physical) pain that comes with being human. Today, I want to make an important distinction between numbing and nurturing, and explore the idea that it may be okay to numb out sometimes.

Numbing versus Nurturing

Numbing activities are about escaping. They whisk us away from the present moment and allow us to detach from reality. They create a disconnect from ourselves and those around us. Numbing is all about distraction, avoidance, and checking out of our own bodies. Typically, numbing activities are unhealthy, but there are times (in my opinion) when numbing is necessary.

Nurturing activities plant us firmly in the present moment. They bring us deeper into our selves and connect us with our desires. Nurturing is all about connection, acceptance, and stepping into our own bodies. These actives are powerfully positive. They bring healing. The more nurturance we provide for ourselves, the less we need to numb out.

The exact same activity can be used for numbing or nurturing. It all depends on how you are using the activity. Exercise is a great example of this. I think many people use exercise to numb: to disengage and ignore their feelings, both physical and emotional. On the other hand, exercise can also be a beautiful way to nurture yourself - a way to intimately connect with the present moment and listen to your body's needs.

As you go through your day, see if you can notice the difference between nurturing and numbing in your life. If you notice you are using a seemingly healthy activity to numb yourself, see if you can make some tweaks to create nurturance.

When and How to Numb

Most of us have spent our lives numbing ourselves left and right, which certainly isn't healthy. If you've come to a point where you want to stop doing this, it's not realistic to think you can snap your fingers and start being totally mindful, fully experiencing all your feelings, 24 hours a day. Think of it like a strength training program. When you first start, you can only lift lite weights. Likewise, when you first begin trying to feel your feelings, you may only be able to fully feel them for a few minutes, after which you'll be exhausted and want (even need) to go back to numbing out. If you keep practicing, a little along the way, you'll build up that muscle and be able to go long spans of time without the need to numb yourself at all.

Even once your emotional muscle is strong, you'll have times in life when you feel overwhelmed and exhausted and you want to check out. Personally, I think this is totally normal and totally fine. In these times, remember that some numbing activities are, by nature, more positive than others. A walk, even when used as a distraction, is always going to be healthier than drinking a six pack of beer. Watching a mindless movie will do less damage than eating three candy bars. So, if you must numb yourself, lean toward the numb-out methods that are kinder to your body.

Tomorrow, I'll conclude this series by explaining why it's important to be fully present and fully aware (the opposite of numb) as much as possible, and I'll share some strategies for learning how to do this, since it doesn't come naturally to most of us!

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