Last week, I posted twice about the importance of fully experiencing negative feelings rather than trying to fix them or run from them. But what about negative thoughts? I have found there are three basic steps for handling unhelpful thoughts: watch them, question them, and recreate them. Because each step is rather involved, I am dividing this post into three parts, each part focused on one of the steps.

Learning to simply watch your thoughts is a powerful skill that has been proven to reduce stress and increase happiness.  What exactly does it mean to watch your thoughts? It means noticing, becoming fully conscious of what is happening in your mind, without passing judgement and without getting wrapped up in the stories your mind wants to tell.

Some people will tell you it's necessary to meditate for an hour or more each and every day in order to learn the skill of thought-watching. I'm not a big fan of those rigid sorts of guidelines. In my opinion, rules don't mesh with mindfulness. Learning to watch your thoughts is critically important to leading a deeply joyful life, but it won't happen if you feel forced into it or overwhelmed by the process. So, I invite you to begin practicing in whatever way feels exciting, delightful, and doable.

Here is a suggestion for beginning (if you feel ready):

Set a timer for five minutes and focus your attention on an object (a tree, your hand, a doorknob).  As soon as you focus, your mind will probably dart off in another direction. That's normal.  That's the mind being the mind. The point is not to stay focused on the object for the full five minutes, but rather to NOTICE when you drift off.  Each time you notice, gently bring yourself back to the object. If your thoughts are anything like mine, they will be random, layered, unfocused, messy, swirling, and complicated.  Just notice. Just watch. And do it with the greatest compassion you can muster.

Thought-watching isn't glamorous. In fact, it's pretty awkward, quite tedious, and sometimes scary as hell.  But it's an important part of your joy journey, so I hope you give it a whirl.  Next Monday I'll continue this series with step #2, so come on back.

And tomorrow I'm doing... are you ready for this...my FIRST GIVEAWAY! Oh yeah! Don't miss it!

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